He Loves Me | He Loves Me Not

posted in: Editorial, Weddings | 0

The wedding day is supposed to be a day filled with anticipation, excitement, I would be adorned in my white gown and reveling in dreams full of promise about a future together. I was ready to make the ultimate pledge of love and devotion.  I had been prancing for weeks saying what would be my new last name. I was anxiously awaiting the  moment when he would call me his wife. But little did I know that fate had a cruel twist in store for me, 7 days before my wedding day.

As the days ticked by, all my anticipation turned into worry. Why had he turned into a ghost? Where was he? I tried calling his mom’s house (where he was staying) – no one knew where he was. My family became concerned. They worried that something had happened to him. This was unlike him to not come around, he was always there since 6th grade–childhood sweethearts. Where could he be on such an important week? Doubts swelled in my mind as I glanced nervously out the window at my mom’s house–I had put the proverbial cart before the horse. I was 2 months pregnant. I was going to surprise him with the news at the reception. Now, he was nowhere to be found, a ghost, and my baby would be fatherless. I cried.

My family, friends, bridesmaids and some potential guests exchanged concerned glances with whispers of unease floating through the air as they visited my mom’s house. What could have happened? Wait! This can’t be happening. He is 21 and I am 19 years old; we are going to be husband and wife, mom and dad, and start a future together with good fortune 500 jobs. What happened?

Meanwhile, my heart was pounding in my chest as I was greeted by his friend and best man 4 days before the wedding. The best man would not tell me where he was, but he did have a message from him for me. “I love you, BUT I am too young. I am not ready to be married. I was only fooling myself. I am not financially secure. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you these things.” With tears streaming down my face, I let out a blood curdling scream–the burden was too much to bear. I realized, for years, everything about us was a lie.

Rage and fear consumed me, overshadowing the love I once felt for him turned to hate as I began to cancel the church and vendors through blood-shot eyes and tears. The moment was  especially bitter when I had to hang my custom made wedding gown in the closet-unworn. The groom had shattered two families and filled me with embarrassment as I had to tell everyone the wedding was off. In 7 days, I went from 19 years old to feeling and looking disheavaled. I turned the situation on myself, I was pregnant–I  FELT HURT AND DISCOMBOBULATED.

I was blindsided, didn’t see it coming,  and was left with a heart full of sorrow. The dreams I had nurtured for years and tucked in a Hope Chest were shattered in an instant. The love that was supposed to bind us together had turned into a painful reminder of what could have been. The wedding day that was meant to be filled with joy and celebration became a symbol of heartbreak and betrayal.

About 10 years later passing on the street, I saw him. Life had not been kind to him. We talked for a minute. I told him about his son (he didn’t get a chance to see or know) and moved on. Smiling through tears, I realized, over the years, I had risen above the pain, raised my son, and rebuilt my life– but still bore scars from the devastanting experience.

Beware: It has happened to many, including me — it could happen to you too!

Published by gabby:  www.mrsruthsbrides.com