When I was younger (9 y/o), my father dropped my mother and I off at my cousin Mary and uncle james’ house to spend the day. Little did we know, we would be attending a wedding before the day ended. Mary in her excitement, haste and impromptu planning, forgot to send us an invitation. My first wedding ceremony was a non-traditional one and still resonates with me today.
My cousin Mary (not her real name) was really, really in love with James (not his real name). They both worked menial jobs that did not pay much. Although they had no kids, they barely scraped by. The couple had been together for seven years and Mary wore an engagement ring for five of those years. Mary had grown tired of the living arrangements (common-law), she wanted to be called Mrs.; but they had no money. James promised her a wedding ceremony and reception in a year or two.The way things were looking, she didn’t put much hope in James’ promise (afterall, she had been engaged for five years).
Six weeks earlier, Mary and some of her good lady friends began wedding planning and sending out invites.. Mary would have a wedding ceremony with a buffet-style reception dinner and all the guests would bring a dish from home. The women decided that they would supply the main course for the dinner and one of them would be matron of honor (no bridesmaids). Mary talked the plan over with James and he agreed with the idea, because he was very condecending. Mary wrote her requests to guests on twelve store bought wedding invitations and ended it with a BYOB (bring your own bottle) and mailed them to guests. The fried chicken, string beans, rolls and potato salad was the main course and would be brought to the wedding by her good lady friends as a gift for the couple. The guests called to let her know the kind of food, drinks, and supplies (disposal plates, plastic cups, plastic cutlery, paper napkins) they would bring as gifts for her and James because they were poor too.
On Saturday, at 4 PM, Mary, her lady friends came dressed in their Sunday finest for the wedding. We began getting her apartment ready for the ceremony. Once done, my mother instructed me to go play and she and the ladies took over. The apartment had a strong bleach ordor with no decorations. The ladies placed mismatched tablecloths on the tables that were pushed together and one vase of mixed wildflowers (picked from Mary’s yard) along with food they had brought from home. At 5:00 pm, Mary and James went separate ways to get dressed. At 5:30 pm the judge, a friend from high school, arrived to donate his officiating services as a gift to the couple. Also, guests began arriving with their food, drinks, and supplies which were accepted by her lady friends and placed on the tables.
With the little money she had managed to save, Mary had purchased a white, Sunday Best suit from the Lerner store and white shoes from Chandler Shoes. Something borrowed was a white pillbox hat with a short veil. James wore a black suit, shined black shoes and a white shirt and tie he had borrowed from his brother. Before the wedding ceremony, he had a few dollars and had stopped by Kroger to purchase a dozen white roses for Mary’s bridal bouquet. James’ brother placed one of the beautiful roses in his suit lapel as a boutonniere.
On June 22, at approximately 6:00 pm, with me peeping through the screen door and Teddy Pendergrass singing on a boombox, “You’re My Greatest Inspiration,” James entered the living room from the bathroom and stood with the judge to the right of the living room window, to wait for his bride. Within one minute, the matron of honor entered ahead of the bride from the bedroom and stood to the left of the judge. One minute later, Mary entered the living room from the bedroom to join James and the judge. Mary and James through tears, exchanged vows. At the end of her vow, Mary whispered softly, “I hope it’s okay if I love you forever.” Astonished and through tears, James uttered “yes.” The judge declared their union, they said, “I will” and James placed a silver wedding band on her finger; (Mary could not afford to give him a ring.) The Judge blessed their union and pronounced them man and wife. They signed the marriage certificate the judge had prepared beforehand. Mary was now Mrs.James Smith.
My cousin was so elated. After the ceremony, the judge wished the newly weds congratulations, a happy future and left. Barely had the door closed behind him than the wedding reception began. James and Mary had their first dance to Barry White singing on the boombox, “My First. My Last. My Everything.” With paper plates of food and plastic cups of drinks the guests began partying. My mother congratulated the couple and kissed the bride. While the ceremony was going, my father returned for us and we left for home.
That day, I learned a great lesson about simple, intimate wedding ceremonies. If you are madly in love, and want to be husband and wife, it doesn’t take much to have a wedding. All it takes is love, respect for one another and good friends willing to contribute to your happiness. I have never had the opportunity to attend such a wedding in adulthood – but memories still linger.
Submitted by gabby
Leave a Reply